What the Offspring Witnessed from Behind the GameBoy | theremustbeawayout's Blog

Earlier in the week I told H. that our mutual participation in getting the offspring out the door in the a.m. was what I had always thought parenting with him would be like, the two of us working together.  H. liked the sentiment.  "We finally made it."  Jerk.  Where was he for the first decade or so?

So tonight at dinner (scene: a restaurant) he asks if he can go back to the gym this coming week in the mornings.  Offspring has finished eating, we've all been talking during the meal, now Offspring is chilling with the game.

H:        So can I start going to the gym in the morning again?

Me:      Pause.        How do I respond so I don't give or deny permission, thereby playing into the Con Job?

Me:     It's been nice with you in the mornings. (I hesitated to say this, because I put myself out there.  Again.)

H:        You are getting up now

Me:      I'm in a shoe now, so I can walk Offspring to the bus.  You could leave when we do.

H:       That only gives me (not enough time) to get to work (by desired time).

Me:     (Punched in the gut by putting myself out there only to be knocked down) (turning away in sadness)

H:        I've only ever been able to get to the gym 3x a week at best.

Me:      (Honestly, there's no possible response to this that doesn't play into The Con.) (I say nothing)

H:         Rubs my back and says, "Hey, there are plenty of new episodes of [insert T.V. program names].  Oh, the check is here.  We can go now.

Every now and then Offspring asks why I am sad.  Sometimes the sigh is marriage related, sometimes not.  Next time he asks, I shall tell him enough to let him know that H does not want to spend time co-parenting.  Well, even that statement is not appropriate.  But Offspring should know that the marriage is not making me happy.  I don't want Offspring to know that the way his parents are is what he should look forward to.  I have already had to coach Offspring in greeting H with over-the-top delight to make him enjoy coming home and being with him. 

Reading this last  sentence, I am disgusted.