The Con Job and Not Taking The Bait | theremustbeawayout's Blog

H:  I got the part I wanted--Is it ok for me to go out to the shop for an hour, and then come back and spend the rest of the evening with you? 

Hah!  Do you see it?  Mom, can I go do something fun before I do something else?  Only this time he made the "spend the rest of the evening with you" sound really sweet, that he really wanted to spend time with me.  After last night's response, he has upped the ante!  I did not bite.

Me:  Spending the evening with you would be good.

If he is going to go out to the shop, that is his choice.  He does not get to foist that responsibility on to me.

There's an old movie ("If a Man Answers," 1952) that begins with a newlywed growing distraught that her husband is starting to spend less time with her, be less romantic, basically moving in the direction that we all recognize as a SM.  She confides in her mother.  Her mother recommends a book to her that will fix any and all marital problems.  What is the title of the book?  "How to Train Your Dog."

The body of the movie shows how she puts various maxims into direct play.  They all work.  But honestly, if we need to manage a relationship as if our spouse was a pet, or a child, or a teenager, why would we be physically attracted to him/her as an equal?