The Con Job and My Unwitting Approval | theremustbeawayout's Blog

So yesterday H & Offspring were at an event to which I was unable to go.  The plan was for H to procure dinner for us all after the event.  H sent me a couple of phone pix from the event.  Afterwards he texts to say there is food. Twice.

Now, after the first text my knee-jerk reaction was to text back and say, "Great!"  by way of keeping up a conversational exchange.  But what am I really saying?

In light of our long history, H would have heard this as permission to not do anything else about food for all of us.  As a matter of fact, I would have to say that much communication with H is based on what I will allow him to get away with.  Since I did not respond to the first text, he texted again to seek my implied permission to get out of the obligation to deal with the meal.  Again I did not respond.  When H & Offspring returned, H was prepared to deal with dinner.

This "What Can I Get Away With?" attitude is exactly why my H. is a S.O.B.  This outlook turns me into his parent from whom he seeks permission, and keeps him locked into the role of teenager who is always trying to stick it to authority.

The first time I heard an older sibling speak to H as if he were a child, I was incensed on H's behalf.  Now, of course, I understand.